7 Minutes of Pure Crack!
by Link the Fates
Summary: When Shinra gets inspired by a show he saw advertised on Celty's T.V., Shinra throws a party. So join them while the crazy ensues in Shinra's game of 7 minutes in Heaven! NOT YAOI AND OC'S!


-7 minutes in heaven-  
Co-write with Autumn and Fangirl Kureiji x Izaya

The top hat was passed around until it came to Kureiji's hands. She vehemately shoved her hand into the hat, and dug around, not caring that her tongue was sticking out. Something cold and harsh like metal brushed over her fingers. She grasped it between her fingers, and pulled it out, to reveal a plain silver ring. Shinra smiled deviously at the sight and spoke cheerily, "That would be the second closet, Kureiji~." She looked at him oddly before shuffling over the closet that the perv-doctor spoke of, and was startled when she was abruptly pulled in. She almost fell back at the harsh pull. She felt lips brush against her ear as she molested the wall, looking for the light switch, but nothing could have prepared her for hearing him say, "Hello, my little RoRo~." Finally she found the light and switched it on, only to turn around and see the troll she hated most. The entire apartment reverberated as she shouted, "IIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAY YYYYYYAAAAAA, YOU FUCKING PERVERT!", and in the other room, Shizuo couldn't help but shake with silent laughter, for he knew the bloody fate that awaited the info broker.  
Shinra chuckled at the sound of what he knew was coming. Shizuo could no longer keep his laughter silent as heard Izaya pleading with the insane chibi girl (that he had grown quite fond of in the past few minutes) to stop beating him with her stilettos and to stop shanking him with her infamous nail file. Izaya laughed nervously as this continued. It's really hard to figure how much blood someone can lose from the shanking of a nail filer, but if anyone would know, it would be Kureiji. Shinra eyed the noisy closet, and heard all the banging, and of course not missing an oppurtunity to make a perverted comment, said, "Wow, not only were those two quick to get at it, but they are doing it quite vigorously, too! I mean, come on, they still have about five good minutes of fucking left!" Shizuo's eye twitched at Shinra's comment and Shinra found himself beneath a coffee table awfully quickly. He should have known not to make such a crass comment about the brute's girlfriend.  
Yet inside the mentioned closet, blood splattered here and there. Eventually time ticked away, and the seven minutes was. After Shinra announced it, the aforementioned insane chibi strolled out with bloody stilettos and nail file in hand, and proceed to plop right into Shizuo's lap. Only then did each of the guests take a concerned look into the closet to find Izaya sitting, needing the paramendics. "You're job Shinra."  
"Right~!" And so no one really knew what happened to Izaya that day when he left. All they know, is that Shinra said that he might preform a few extra tests, and that Kureiji was smiling a little TOO happily.

Rosuto x Shizuo

Shizuo drew a cat collar out of the hat, and carefully shifted his sleeping chibi of a girlfriend off of his lap. "Where to Shinra?" He simply asked. "Closet 3~!" He trudged to the closet, still confused as to why he let Shinra, or rather Kureiji, convince him to this. Probably because Kureiji threatened to flash Izaya if he didn't. He may not seem like it at first glance, but Shizuo does care about her decency. The only one allowed to see her indecent was him. Unlike most men, Shizuo wouldn't do anything to harm his sweet chibi, and so if that meant playing a juvenile game, then so be it, as long as she was happy. Besides, seeing Izaya laying in his own pool of blood after the chibi finished her turn was priceless, especially knowing that it was HIS chibi that cause the flea so much pain. Though now it was his turn to face whatever was waiting. Can't be as bad as the flea. He opened the specified closet door to receive a closet hanger to the face. His veins pulsed, but was somewhat calmed when he heard Rosuto say, "Oh, sorry Shizuo, I was half expecting the Orihara twins to come rape me." After rubbing his face off from the hanger, he turned on the light to see the red head standing with one hand on her sighing-in-relief face. "It's okay, the twins leave me alone for the most part after Kureiji 'dealt' with them after practically dry-humping my leg, but they can still be annoying. You know, if you are having that much trouble with them, I'm sure Chibi wouldn't mind 'dealing' with them again." "'Dealing' for her is either very bloody or something very much so in some other feild which I will not name." Rosuto said with some concern.  
"I don't know what she did with them, nor do I want to, all I know is that it worked, and that the only person she does the latter mentioned dealing with is me," Shizuo said, not even trying to hide the smirk on his face. Meanwhile Rosuto shook her head with light blush on her face from the comment. Was that really nessacary? Seeing the look on her face, Shizuo cracked up and quickly stated, "Don't worry, I was only kidding, we haven't done anything of that sort. Chibi is surprisingly excessively inexperienced when it comes to those things, when we started dating, she hadn't even had her fist kiss. Frankly, it will be a miracle if she doesn't die a nun, considering she gets all frazzled just SITTING with me!" Rosuto laughed slightly at the thought of Kureiji being all fragile around Shizuo. A side of her only those close to her will ever really see, if they're even that lucky. Shizuo chuckled at the thought of his chibi, thinking about her sleeping on the couch, because he knew from experience, that despite how tiny she was, she had probably kicked everyone off with her uncanny ability to hog things. Meanwhile outside of the closet, Shinra was becoming annoyed. "They aren't doing anything...just laughing..." His sigh came across annoyed. "Hey, three minutes in there!" Shizuo looked at the door, a somewhat pissed look on his face. "No offense, but does he honestly expect me to do something with you? Not only would Chibi castrate me, and mount my head on the wall, but I would never do that to her in the first place! And even if I was going to, which I would never, I wouldn't do it with her right outside in the other room!" Shizuo growled, now thoroughly pissed off by the doctor. "I think she would like you stuffed, but not on a wall. Probably a plushi." Rosuto corrected. "If I had cheated on he-" "Sweety, if you cheated on me, I would castrate you, burn the remains, and give the ashes to Rosuto to use for cat litter!" the aforementioned chibi shouted after busting through the doors. Rosuto glared and said, "My cat uses better litter than that." Shizuo's veins pulsed. Seeing the look on Shizuo's face, Kureiji said, "Oh, lighten up, Shizuo. She's right, that cat even EATS better than most humans." Rosuto chuckled under her breath, "More polite too..." "Fuck yeah, that cat is! Maki is one badass cat! He even has a badass name!" Kureiji declared before dragging (more like influencing Shizuo's heavy ass to move) Shizuo out of the closet. Rosuto followed the two then parted ways as they passed the table. Shinra looked at them weird. "Well that was lacking in eventful." Rosuto turned and hit the doctor upside the head. Shizuo and Kureiji, also hearing the pervy doctor, turned towards him. Kureiji opted for one her infamous impossibly high kicks, making sure she dug her bloody heel into his chin, and Shizuo sucker punched him in his gut.  
Not needed to mention, the doctor found himself done with the game from Hell.

Kureiji x Shizuo

Kureiji flipped her hand through the multitude of objects in the hand and grasped something soft that felt like a string and some mass of tangles, which after pulling it out, she found it to be a bow tie. Recognizing the silk bow, she gave a wry smile, and looked to Shinra, questioning which closet to go to. "The first this time." The perverted doctor grinnned. She skipped to the closet that inhabited her boyfriend, and quickly slipped in. Closing the door behind her quietly she planned to surprise her boyfriend, which failed in the worst way. He surprised her. He leaned down to wrap his arms around his chibi, and quickly pulled her to his chest, chuckling at her gasp from the sudden action. She would've turned the lights on, but she really didn't want to. This siuation was too good. She shuddered when she felt his breath on her ear when he whispered, "You FAIL at surprising people." She slightly laughed while fangirling on the inside at how close they were. "I don't mind it if you're surprising me." He lifted her up so that he wouldn't have to lean, and she took the hint, wrapping her legs around his waist. "I know you don't mind," he breathed onto her neck. "Is it a good surprise though?" She asked coyly. His hand trailed up under her shirt. "Very..." His seductive tone caused her to shiver. He smirked at her sharp intake of breath when he brushed his fingers along her spine. He gently trailed up it, causing her to arch her back and press her chest against his, and played with the clasp on her bra, trying to be careful not to rip her skin tight tank. He really didn't care now but he knew he would when the time was up. Just to make sure, Shizuo pressed her back against the wall. Without much effort, her bra unclasped itself and slipped down her chest in a smooth, easy motion. Her blush worsened as he slipped it off her by the middle front. "Sh-Shizuo," she gasped, when he lifted her tank up to her diaphragm, just below her bust. With one hand clasping her waist, he roughly captured her mouth in his, and lightly nibbled on her lower lip as a request for entrance. When she playfully refused, he without hesitation reached back into her lifted tank and fully grasped her soft breast in his calloused hand, using the gasp she gave as an oppurtunity to shove his tongue into her mouth. Kureiji's face reddened even further. "Mmm..." She whimpered as Shizuo smirked. He trailed his fingers down her front and lightly lifted her skirt. She now had a tomato red face as he upskirted her. A wimper came from her throat in a repeat of noises. Shizuo enjoyed seeing her softer side. It was much, as a lack for a better word, sexier than the usual Chibi. She quickly and messily unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders. Her sweaty hands then roamed his chest. A growl escaped the back of Shizuo's throat. This turned on Kureiji even more. That side of Shizuo that was so wild and tempting. Thoroughly annoyed with the tanktop, he simply ripped it off of her, unable to see how his girlfriend managed to get the thing on and off with how tight it was. He pushed her even thurther into the and whispered, "If you need a shirt later, you can use mine." He latched onto her neck and began sucking and nipping all up neck, and lifted his Chibi up so that he could trail lower. She whimpered when he reached the spot where her cleavage started and started sucking on that spot. Hickeys were already forming on her neck and chest, and frankly, she didn't give a flying fuck. She let out a sharp gasp when she felt his teeth scrape against her skin. He took his hand out of her skirt and briefly set her down to yank the skirt, shorts, and leggings all off in one swoop, leaving her in only her plain white panties. Unhappy with the clothing ratio, she took his shirt and vest off the rest of the way, and yanked down his pants.  
Even Shizuo started to blush at this when she did that. Though it is her job now to strip him down. "You know, Chibi, when you're under me like this, you seem so tiny...so frail...so fragile...so...sexy," Shizuo growled.  
On the outside, Shinra was listening in, ear plastered to the door. He wanted to hear everything. Then he looked down at his watch. "Darn. And it was just getting interesting too. Hey, you two! Times up!" Shinra then tried to open the door, but it was jammed shut. "Um, times up guys." He tried again. "Guys! Can you do that somewhere else!? Your time is up!" He started to fight with the door then just gave up.  
Inside, Shizuo had placed Kureiji against the door. Each time the door was hit, Chibi was pressed tighter against him. By now, she had ripped the rest of his off, and her's likewise. "A-Ah~! S-Shizuo~!" She moaned loudly.

Everyone sat in the living room feeling dirty listening to Shizuo liberate Kureiji of her virginity, but like one's lack of ability to NOT look away from a train truck, they could NOT simply not listen to the two. Based on the moans and whimpers heard, it was obvious that Shizuo was the seme. While they were all somewhat surprised that Kureiji just let him dominate her like that, said moans and whimpers showed that she clearly enjoyed it. After about an hour Kureiji stumbled out, wearing nothing but her panties, left visible by her dishevled micromini, and Shizuo's button up. In one hand, she had the remains of her shirt, and her shorts and legging, and in the other, her white bra. Trailing after her came Shizuo, wearing nothing but his boxers, clearly showing under the unzipped, unbuttoned sagging pants. Kureiji's face was beet red, and there were hickeys all down her neck going down into the shirt, and some light bruising on her wrists vaguely shaped like hands, as if they had been roughly held above her head. But over all, she looked happy, as did Shizuo. She flopped herself onto the couch, not caring that her skirt hiked up before Shizuo sat next to her and pulled her into his lap. She curled herself up instantly; she looked so...tiny and frail next to him. Soon the 'Pervy Doctor' felt a little sorry for the lack of clothes, so he threw the two a blanket. "Have fun you two?"  
"Quiet, Shinra." Shizuo said as he wrapped the blanket around them. They huddled close together in their own little world. The world of the hotheads.

Rosuto x Izaya

Rosuto was harshly pulled into the designated closet, and spun around so that her back was pressed against the assalaint's chest. She felt a pair of lips press against her jugular, and trail up to her ear, leaving butterly kisses all over. She tried to struggle away before his right arm reached around over her collar bone and lightly petteed an area above her ears, that instantly calmed her. "Shh, my sweet, witty little RoRo, it's just me." Rosuto's eyes widened as she grabbed his arms and pushed him away, then chased around the closet for the light. Her wrist was pulled before she could flip the switch she had finally touched. She turned and pushed him away. "Don't touch me, Izaya!" She blushed as she held her neck. "Oh, don't worry, I don't plan to touch you...I intend to do SO much more than that," he breathed into her ear before silencing any and all of her protests with his lips. He shoved her against the wall, and started to trail down her neck, biting and sucking, his hand now covering her mouth to muffle any protests. He relished in her gasp whenever he had sunk his teeth into the junction where her shoulder and neck met, breaking the skin, a small drop of blood budding to the surface. Izaya ran his silky tongue up her neck, lapping up the miniscule amount of spilled blood. Rosuto pushed at his chest and struggled, but couldn't help but to lose her strength. Her knees locked beneath her so she could hold herself up. It turned her on so much, though she would never admit it. She had to keep up the fight, so she tried her best. Though Izaya had noticed the lacking use of claws, which shows that she wasn't completely mad. In fact, it seems that the forcefulness is appealing to her. Izaya continued to press her against the wall, then pinned her arms above her head to restrain her. Soon one of his hands held her wrists and the other was free. Being fairly simplistic, and quick, he yanked her shirt up and over her chest and unclasped her bra. He didn't waste any time in taking one of her breasts into his mouth, and lightly swirled his tongue around the nub. He used one hand to pin her wrists so that he could use the other to knead at the soft flesh of the other breast. He smirked when he heard an unmistakable moan seep out of her throat. After a minute or two, he switched positions, his mouth going to the breast that was previously kneaded on, and he switched his hands so that he could rub the one that had being sucked. After managing to pull what he deemed enough moans from her with foreplay, he got right down to it, and yanked her jeans and panties down to her knees, his jeans and boxers soon followed.

Shizuo's and Kureiji's eyes twitched when they heard Rosuto moan/yell Izaya's name for the umpteemth time.  
Meanwhile, inside Rosuto was arching her back in some sort of last attempt at getting away. Though she knew that wouldn't work with Izaya. He only enjoyed it more. Rosuto panted for breath as Izaya continued. Eventually he got bored with the noises and decided to stop them. His mouth pressed tightly to hers as she whimpered. He smirked and slipped his tongue into her mouth. She tried to pull back but couldn't because of the wall, so she only had one choice left for her head to move. She pressed back.


End file.
